Yes, You Can Be Your Authentic Self at Work
You shouldn’t have to be one person at home and another at the office — here's how to stay true to who you are, no matter where you are.
Karlyn Percil-Mercieca was pressured to create a work persona early on in her corporate career, when she worked as a senior business analyst at a bank. “I was told that to excel, I had to leave my personality and values behind,” she says.
Keen to advance, Percil-Mercieca developed an edited version of herself. As a Black woman from the Caribbean, she had been criticized for her accent and her curly hair, and felt she had to change both. Playing a role and being someone else at work led to the unhappiest chapter of her career.
Adopting a fake work persona can harm your mental health
“Behaving in a way that is at odds with your authentic self can increase stress, hinder a person’s capacity to form meaningful connections, and negatively impact their psychological well-being and ability to innovate,” says Percil-Mercieca.
In 2024, a survey of 1,500 employees across Canada and the U.S. found that 70 percent of the women surveyed felt they couldn’t be their authentic selves at work.
“Authenticity demands psychological safety,” says Percil-Mercieca. And, she adds, many organizations haven’t developed a culture that allows women to show up as their true selves, noting that this can be particularly difficult for women of colour.
Percil-Mercieca says that being so caught up in her “work persona” caused her to abandon both her personality and her personal life. “I became so focused on work goals, priorities, deadlines and attending networking events that I worked myself into burnout,” she says.
“I knew I was playing a part when year-end performance reviews showed that I had exceeded expectations, but I didn’t feel the pride or satisfaction that should come with excelling. Something was missing.”
Percil-Mercieca decided to step away from her work persona and rediscover her authentic self. She set aside time to define her values, figure out what being her true self at work would look like, and think of ways to align work with her greater purpose — the desire to empower women to lead, live and engage authentically. The result was the launch of KDPM Consulting Group in 2010, which helps organizations improve engagement and productivity through emotional data processing.
What does “being your authentic self” even mean?
“You are not one person at home and another at work,” says Clare Beckton, founding executive director of the Centre for Women in Politics and Public Leadership at Carleton University. The way you communicate may change depending on the setting and audience, but that doesn’t mean you need to adopt different personas, she says.
When attempting to be your authentic self at work, you first have to ask yourself, “How can I stay true to myself while continuing to advance in my career?” says Beckton, who also founded Own Your Own Success, a mentoring company for women leaders.
Many women believe they must behave or lead like men to succeed, she says, sometimes adopting aggressive leadership styles in an effort to emulate their male colleagues. Leadership has been shaped by traits traditionally associated with men, such as being aggressive, assertive and independent, according to a 2023 study published in the Frontiers in Psychology journal.
We sat down with Beckton and Percil-Mercieca to explore how to bring your whole self to work.
Reframe work as part of your life, not your entire life
Begin by seeing yourself through a “purpose lens” instead of a “work lens,” advises Percil-Mercieca, who defines a purpose lens as a guide or “north star” that keeps you focused on what really matters. She says it’s important to reframe your approach so that you see work as just another part of your life and not the sole expression of yourself.
She also recommends keeping a “strengths” or “brag” journal to document your best moments at work. These moments can stem from your primary role, a secondary duty (like being a mentor or part of a DEI committee), or any other area where you apply your skills and talents. Keeping a record of the accomplishments that are closely linked to your overall purpose can help ground you in what you value most in your career.
Identify your true self by understanding your core values
Staying connected to your authentic self means figuring out what you value most, whether that’s your family or simply being a kind person. Jot down your top five and reflect on how well your life aligns with those values.
If you’re struggling to pinpoint your values, there are plenty of online resources, like The Life Values Inventory, that offer lists for inspiration. But it’s important not to just pick them randomly, Beckton says. It’s about being intentional. “You have to really ask yourself, ‘What matters to me most?’”
When Beckton did this exercise herself, she identified “contributing to advancing women’s leadership” as her core value. Knowing this helps her to align what she does every day, she says. This exercise can also help you assess your work environment, she says.
If your values are at odds with your employer’s, it could be time to consider moving on.
If your work and true selves don’t match up, carve out time for self-work
“The first step for women to be more authentic is to have the time, space and opportunity to explore what authenticity feels and looks like,” Percil-Mercieca says.
Press the reset button. Taking time off and stepping away from your work persona or setting some time for yourself outside of work can help you reconnect with your values. It gives you space to define what showing up as your true self looks like, she says.
Percil-Mercieca says that once women start doing this, workplaces will become more inclusive, fostering a culture where they can fully express themselves, feel psychologically secure, and redefine traditional notions of authenticity.
“Remember that authenticity isn’t about fitting into someone else’s template, no matter how popular it may be,” says Percil-Mercieca. It’s about making room for your unique mix of cultural background, personal experiences, and core values.
Lean on your support system — and support other women in their quest to be authentic
“Our closest relationships serve as both mirrors and anchors,” Percil-Mercieca says. “They reflect our true selves and help us notice when we’re drifting from our core values.”
Friends, family members, and even close co-workers can help you reconcile your work and true selves by having brief check-ins. Percil-Mercieca recommends framing these check-ins around questions like: "Did you feel heard today?", "Were you able to bring your full perspective to that decision or project?", "Were you credited for your idea?”, “Did you receive the acknowledgement you deserve?”
Be that same support system for other women. We increase psychological safety for women at work when we support each other through intentional allyship, says Percil-Mercieca. And, the safer women feel, the more likely they are to be their authentic selves.
By letting our true selves shine at work and supporting others to do the same, we can build safe, healthy workplaces where meaningful connections are created and innovation flourishes — because career fulfillment shouldn’t require pretending to be someone you’re not.
