Resilience isn’t built when life is steady—it’s forged in the moments when everything feels like it might fall apart. For women leaders navigating competing pressures, those moments don’t just test character; they can define a career.
Dr. Taryn Marie Stejskal knows this all too well. In February 2020, as the world locked down, she faced her own breaking point: a single mother of two, she poured cereal for her young sons one morning while fighting back tears. “I remember looking at my boys and thinking, How am I possibly going to survive this?”
Like many working mothers, the pandemic hit her especially hard. But her timing was uniquely challenging: she had just left a secure corporate role at Nike to launch her own business. Overnight, a calendar once filled with speaking engagements, coaching, and client work disappeared. “I was staring into a tidal wave of uncertainty,” she recalls. “The pressure was so great, the fear was so real, and I felt completely alone.”
The cruel irony of it all was that Stejskal had just founded the Philadelphia-based Resilience Leadership Institute (RLI), an organization dedicated to fostering the very quality she now struggled to find in herself. As the author of The 5 Practices of Highly Resilient People: Why Some Flourish When Others Fold, she now faced the challenge of living out her own research in real time.
Her framework identifies five core practices that help people not just withstand adversity, but transform through it: Vulnerability, Productive Perseverance, Connection, Gratiosity, and Possibility. In the months that followed, Stejskal leaned on each of these principles, creating a roadmap for any woman leader looking to build resilience of her own.
Lead with Vulnerability
Too often, women leaders feel pressure to project constant confidence, even when they’re struggling. But real resilience begins with vulnerability: allowing the self you show the world to align with what’s true inside.
In her workshops, Stejskal uses an exercise called Stand Up for Your Sister. Women anonymously admit to challenges like imposter syndrome, then stand on one another’s behalf. Within moments, 80% of the room is on its feet—a striking reminder that we’re not as alone as we think.
“Resilience isn’t about being tough, unmoved, or unchanged,” says Stejskal. “It’s about showing up as your whole self, even when that feels risky.” When leaders speak up—whether at home or in the C-suite—they invite support, connection, and real solutions.
“As scary and threatening as that is, and despite the judgment and reaction that they might have, sharing your vulnerability opens you up to getting help and support to fix the problem,” says Stejskal.
Practice “Productive Perseverance”
There’s a myth that resilient leaders power through no matter what. But resilience isn’t about pushing endlessly—it’s about pushing wisely. Stejskal calls this productive perseverance: the intelligent pursuit of a goal.
“Grit tells us to keep going at all costs,” she explains. “But productive perseverance asks: is this still worth my effort?”
To find the answer, Stejskal suggests looking at both leading and lagging indicators. Leading indicators forecast the future—what risks or opportunities lie ahead if you continue? What might change in your environment? Lagging indicators reflect the present—what results are you actually seeing now? What patterns keep repeating? Together, these signals offer a clear framework for when to persist and when to pivot.
It’s important to remember that quitting doesn’t equal failure. Sometimes it’s the smartest and most strategic choice. Red flags that it’s time to move on include:
- You’re not respected or valued.
- You’re consistently expected to give more without support.
- You don’t have a real seat at the table.
During the pandemic, Stejskal could have abandoned her newly launched Resilience Leadership Institute and returned to corporate stability. Instead, she recalibrated and adapted, moving talks online, reframing setbacks as opportunities, and finding new ways to reach clients.
That’s productive perseverance in action: knowing when to hold steady, when to adjust course, and when to walk away entirely.
Reframe The Voice In Your Head
When people think about connection, they often picture relationships with others. But Stejskal argues the most important connection is the one you build with yourself—and for many leaders, that inner relationship can be brutal.
“We think thousands of thoughts about ourselves every day,” she says, “and the vast majority are negative.” These thoughts chip away at confidence, fuel burnout, and create a mental loop of self-doubt. Left unchecked, they can quietly sabotage even the most capable leaders.
Stejskal recommends starting with a mindset audit. For 24 hours, track every positive and negative thought you have about yourself on paper. Most people discover their inner critic is far louder than their inner coach.
The solution is to deliberately reframe by replacing harsh mental scripts with more generous ones:
- “What if I fail spectacularly?” → “What if this actually works?”
- “I’m not ready for this.” → “I’m learning as I go, and that’s enough.”
And when in doubt, speak to yourself the way you’d speak to a trusted friend. Research backs this up: a study conducted at Duke University found that students under stress who practiced self-compassion also demonstrated greater resilience and higher performance.
“How we speak to ourselves is the greatest predictor of self-confidence,” says Stejskal. “It’s also the greatest predictor of performance at a high level.”
Turn Struggles Into Gratitude
Stejskal’s fourth practice is what she calls gratiosity: a powerful blend of gratitude and generosity.
Gratitude begins with deliberately reframing challenges as catalysts for growth. For Stejskal, this practice is deeply personal. She lived with undiagnosed dyslexia until the age of 37, which made reading—and by extension, school and work—much harder than for many of her peers.
For years, she carried the belief that being “different” meant being “less than.” Over time, she learned to see her dyslexia as a gift: it strengthened her memory, sharpened her creativity, and gave her a unique lens for storytelling.
“I wouldn’t have chosen dyslexia,” she says, “but I can see the good that came out of it because I see the world in a fundamentally different way.”
The second half of this principle—generosity—is about sharing those lessons openly. When leaders talk about their struggles instead of hiding them, they normalize imperfection and make resilience contagious.
“Being open about adversity decreases shame and fear,” says Stejskal. “It shows authenticity, builds trust, and creates deeper human connection.”
Resilient leaders know this: gratitude transforms pain into wisdom, and generosity turns that wisdom into a gift for others.
Choose Progress Over Perfection
Perfectionism often masquerades as dedication, but in reality, it’s a barrier to growth. “Perfection is unattainable and designed to make you feel substandard,” says Stejskal. Resilient leaders know the real win lies in progress—forward motion, no matter how small or imperfect.
Instead of chasing flawless outcomes, ask yourself: What’s the smallest meaningful step I can take today? It might be reframing one negative thought, reaching out to a mentor, or carving out ten minutes to reset. These tiny shifts build momentum, confidence, and resilience over time.
Stejskal lived this truth in 2020. Facing uncertainty and fear, she often advanced her new business “one breath at a time.” Focusing on the next right step—rather than an impossible end state—kept her moving forward when standing still felt easier.
Progress compounds. Perfection paralyzes. And in the long run, resilience is strengthened not by getting it all right, but by refusing to stop.
Let’s Put It Into Action Now:
Resilience is a skill—and like any skill, it improves with daily practice. No matter where you are in your career, here’s a simple way to build leadership resilience today:
Senior Manager
Take your own permission slip. Even if you work for someone else, don’t wait for approval to take care of yourself or to lead with intention. This could be as small as stepping away for a workout or as bold as volunteering to lead a high-profile project.
C-Suite Executive
Reframe your language to prime your mindset. Celebrate your achievements and own what you choose to take on. Swap “I have to…” for “I get to…,” or “I’ve been tasked with…” for “I chose to…” Small shifts in phrasing reinforce ownership, positivity, and resilience.
Entrepreneur
Give yourself the encouragement you’d expect from a team. Stejskal’s advice: “Meet yourself in the mirror. Look yourself in the eyes and say, ‘No matter what happens, I’m not leaving you.’” Remind yourself that you’re doing meaningful work and that persistence counts.
