Networking isn’t just about swapping business cards—it’s about creating opportunities that can change the course of a career. For over 40 years, networking expert Jennifer B. Kahnweiler has made the art of conversation her most valuable professional tool. She began networking in graduate school, where she was studying sociology and counseling, by attending conferences on women’s empowerment. Kahnweiler, an expert on introversion and extroversion, has been networking consistently ever since and says that connecting in person has helped her progress in her business and career.
For instance, speaking with attendees at a book signing led Kahnweiler to land a significant contract with NASA. When she wanted to book more gigs as a keynote speaker, Kahnweiler joined her local chapter of the National Speakers Association and was able to practice her speech and get feedback on this new direction in her career. “Speakers with more experience got to see me speak and nurtured me along the way,” Kahnweiler says. The Association also helped her start a crucial co-mentoring relationship with an experienced communications specialist who listened to Kahnweiler speak on a practice panel. “We shared ideas, and we ended up mentoring each other.” Kahnweiler helped her mentor plan a TED Talk, while he gave her ideas for book chapters.
Kahnweiler has written five books on the subject of extroversion vs. introversion, including several chapters on networking and how these personality types can navigate networking events. She’s also a professional speaker on the topic and teaches masterclasses about networking.
Kahnweiler shared her top five tips on how to build meaningful connections at your next networking event.
1. Do Your Research and Set a Goal Ahead of Any Networking Event
Kahnweiler suggests gathering some intel before a networking event can help alleviate your worries if you’re feeling nervous about attending. “Research attendees on LinkedIn,” she says. “Figure out who you might want to talk to or even just observe when you’re there. If there’s a speaker, learn more about them, too.”
Kahnweiler recalls an event she attended where Jack Welch, the former CEO of General Electric (where she worked as a training and development specialist from 1996 to 2000), was speaking. “I was working on my first book, The Introverted Leader, and went up to him afterwards to let him know how much my experience at General Electric had informed my work,” she says. “He was very interested in the topic and asked me to talk to him the next day at breakfast.” Before breakfast, she jotted down some talking points on a napkin. “It helped me tremendously,” she says.
Kahnweiler also suggests considering your goals before attending an in-person networking opportunity. “Always ask yourself: Why am I here?” Kahnweiler says. “It could be to make friends in a new city, build your business, or learn about a new subject.”
2. Arrive Early, and Make a Concerted Effort to Learn People’s Names
“I learned to start coming early so I could chat with a few people beforehand,” Kahnweiler says. Approaching a smaller group of people can feel a lot less intimidating than navigating a packed house. “In groups where I didn’t know anyone, I was more uptight initially,” she says.
As Kahnweiler meets new people, she’ll ask for their names or how to pronounce them if they’re wearing a name tag. “Repeat the name five times in your head to remember it,” she advises. Equally important is teaching people how to remember and pronounce your name. Using mnemonics, a shortcut or strategy to help remember a new name, can work both ways: you can share one for your name. and also create one for each of the people you meet. For example, “The name ‘Sheri’ is like the drink.”
3. Don’t Be a “Taker”
Author and organizational psychology professor Adam Grant cautions people against being a “taker” at networking events, which he defines as someone who exploits others for personal gain. On the other hand, “matchers” reciprocate, while “givers” contribute to others. A “taker” at a networking event might be someone who immediately asks everyone they meet if they can help them find a job or more clients.
“Be a ‘giver’ by thinking of how you can help people before they ask,” Kahnweiler says. For example, you could offer to introduce someone to another person at the event who you’ve already met and would make a good connection, or you could ask someone what their goals are for attending the event before sharing your own goals.
4. Master the Art of Conversation — and the Art of the Exit
A great way to stay engaged in conversation, especially with someone shy and introverted, is to pause and give them more opportunities to speak. “I make sure to throw the ball to introverted people in conversations,” says Kahnweiler.
She also encourages you to stay focused during conversations. “Don’t look around to see who else is there while you’re speaking with someone,” she says. “It’s so rude and signals that they’re not important enough to hold your attention.”
Once you’re ready to leave a conversation, it can be tricky to figure out a polite way to exit. But Kahnweiler offers an easy and effective tip: “Introduce the person you are talking to a nearby person,” she says. “Name tags are helpful here. You don’t have to know the other person. Those two start talking, and you slip away.”
5. Nurture Your Network by Following up After the Event
Successful networking doesn’t end once the event is over. Stay in touch and follow up on conversations from an event by sharing them via email or LinkedIn to maintain the connection. “Don’t say you’re going to follow up with an invitation to lunch, or a promise to share a resource, and not do it,” says Kahnweiler.
Networking can feel intimidating, even unnatural, for some people, but it’s a skill that anyone can pick up, practice, and improve. She suggests setting small goals for yourself, like “have conversations with at least three people and follow up with at least one.” Focusing on the benefits of networking can also be helpful. “Think of networking as a process of building relationships that help you learn, grow, and advance your life and career.”
Photo Credit: Tyler McKeag/MindsCombined
